Fortunately for me we were listening to a little CBS news radio when a commercial came on for cheap-ass trees starting as low as 20 dollars at Stew Leonards.  Hmm… An interesting thought.  Neither my wife nor I had ever been there, but we both had the itch ever since we learned about their Tur-Duc-Hens (Chicken stuffed in a duck, stuffed in a turkey).  So after some thought we decided to do it because we thought we might be able to hit the Holiday Train Show at the New York Botanical Gardens before or after.

The morning came and we decided to pass on the train show because it was already sold out for the day except for 1:30pm or 4pm.  Neither fitted our plan so we modified the plan.  After a fun 30 minute ride of non-stop screaming from my daughter we arrived to the hill in Yonkers that Stew Leonards sits on.  We maneuvered our way past the home depot traffic and finally made it to the top where we were greeted with a mobbed parking lot.  After only 5 minutes of dodging cars we happened upon a spot and all got out of the car.

The tree shopping experience was quite nice.  They really hire enough people to accommodate the demand.  We counted at least 30 people grabbing trees and opening them up so people could see the goods.  We were looking for a nice 6-7 foot tree.  We decided to do it up and look beyond the discount Bolsoms to the Firs since the price was so right (44 bucks).  The tree we wanted was a bit narrower than most people were looking for so it wasn’t hard to spot the one we wanted as it was discarded away by someone else.  Our tree sherpa carried our tree to the back where it would be cut and wrapped up.  He gave us a ticket and refused a tip.  Actually, there are signs everywhere asking you not to tip.  They’d prefer you donate the money to charity…. nice touch.  He handed us the ticket for our tree and explained that we would need to pay at a cashier and drive around the building so that they could tie it to our car for us…. Now that’s service.

We decided to explore the store first, since that’s the whole point of their marketing plan anyway… we try to be good consumers and support the capitalist cause when we’re told to by advertisements.  The store was very nice.  A tad crowded, but everyone was pleasant.  It was like a Whole Foods with a cool market theme.  There were rotating puppets and animatronics randomly dispersed to give the littl’uns something to watch while their parents shopped, plenty of samples to suck you into buying things you didn’t even know you wanted, and a really nice Santa Clause walking around with Rudolph.  Our daughter thought the place was phenomenal.  We finally checked out with 170 dollars worth of goods including the tree, the tur-duc-hen(which was a bit of a disappointment… it has pork sausage in it, and my wife doesn’t eat that… sigh), some pot pies, a wreath, apple cider donuts, and dried fruit to name a few things.

Then came the line.  The only unpleasant part was waiting in dead stopped traffic in the parking lot trying to get to the Christmas tree line.  I think the wait was about 30-45 minutes, but it definitely felt like two hours.  Fortunately our daughter was calm, and we had freshly made cider donut holes to help us pass the time.  We sang some Ramones and eventually got our tree.

The ride home was uneventful, but for some reason we felt great.  Regardless of  how commercial the experience was we had, what we consider, an unorthodox Christmas event.  The rest of the country probably has experiences like this all the time and think nothing of it, but it was a slice of America that we usually shun and shy away from.  While its something that we firmly believe should be removed from Christmas it felt kitschy enough for a couple of city dwellers to possibly become the tradition we were looking for.  I guess we’ll see next year.

The breakfast had all the expected foods that make breakfast great, but there was one that stood out from the rest.  The Inn is known for the fresh breads that get shipped from the bakery over in the Milleridge Village (the quaint old mini-town next to the Inn… complete with stocks to put your kids in).  One bread that always stands out is their cinnamon bread.  Perfectly laced sugar and cinnamon swirled throughout the little loaves of yumminess.  Now imagine this treat turned into french toast… now imagine it tasting better than you can imagine…. buttered and battered and perfectly perfect.  If I had known how good it was going to be I would have eaten nothing else.

While we dined we were entertained by two of the greatest balloon sculpture artists I have ever seen.  They crafted elaborate crowns and giant swords.  My daughter was given a large working rattle that she found miraculous.

All of this eating and entertainment was set in perfect Christmas atmosphere.  A burning fire, Large Christmas tree (with candy canes that could be plucked at will), child-size nutcrackers, ornaments, and a very attentive staff  made the experience extremely comfortable and homey.

The meal was 25 per adult and included a picture with Santa.  As mentioned the village is right next door, and is a great place to meander after being stuffed to the gills with French toast and coffee.  Unfortunately for us it was raining so we opted to skip the village.

There’s one Saturday and Sunday left.  They have seatings between 9am and 11am by reservation only.  It was so good I think we may go back!  You can get all of the info here.  Oh, and it’s not far from the Hicksville train station via the LIRR if you are coming from the city… but you will need to grab a cab from the station.

Ah how things have changed…. If I was writing all of you an e-mail 3 years ago about entertainment I hired for a party this coming Saturday it would probably include 3 strippers dressed as ninjas…. sigh… instead I’m writing to tell you that there will be entertainment for the toddlers that includes dancing, a parachute, and someone dressed up in a stuffed animal costume.  My only hope is that there will be a stripper in that costume, but something tells me it will be a big sweaty man with hair on his back….  double sigh….

…at least we will have filet mignon…

With that began the first e-mail to go out to talk about daddy things.  More would soon follow, and I realized I may have something to offer other daddies in NYC.

So let’s see what I can offer…. How about I start with the entertainment I hired for the party?  We had about 12 kids between the ages of one and three, and Little People Entertainment did a perfect job.  I think a friend put it best when he said, “Jeeze!  When that puppet show started it was as if the Beatles had landed.”  They set up a small barricade with curtains, and what would follow was an onslaught of puppet mayhem.  They literally had around 40-50 puppets that came one after another after another with a soundtrack for each act.  From Bert and Ernie to Blue from Blue’s clues… Dora the explorer to Cookie Monster.  The kids were mesmerized, and most of them had no clue who the puppets were representing…. it didn’t matter.  I thought a couple of them would feint from all of the screams of joys.

The parachute was a great way make the birthday girl feel special even at a year old, and you can never go wrong with a person dressed in a stuffed animal costume.  They finished up with some balloon animals and balloon swords for the little ‘uns to be dazzled with.  It was a jam packed hour and a half of blissful baby insanity.

You can see some pics of the event on my daughter’s website.  Oh, and the party took place at Mende Dance Studio… which is extremely affordable if you are the owner’s son.  Otherwise it’s a good place if you live in/around Rego Park.